Thursday, October 18, 2012

Boys will be boys ;)

"Because of feminism, they say, America has been so focused on girls that we've forgotten about the boys."
Oh gosh, where to begin with this article. That quote popping up in the first couple paragraphs threw my mood with the whole article right away. How on Earth could someone think that in a MAN run society, one movement could make people forget about the boys?! HA! That makes me laugh out loud. Not at all do I agree with this statement. I also do not believe that feminism is why there is a "boy crisis". Of course the numbers are going to be higher for suicide in men.... there is a lot more pressure put on men to be at the top of the social class ladder and live up to the role everyone portrays them to live; Breadwinners, strong father figures, handyman, natural athlete, etc. 

"Culture of cruelty imposes a code of silence on boys, requiring them to suffer without speaking of it and to be silent witnesses to acts of cruelty to others."
On the contrary, when Kimmel shared this quote by Kindlon and Thompson, it brings me back to my childhood and memories of me holding a lot of emotions in because thats all I ever knew how to do. I totally believe that the majority of men hold things in and suppress their fears and emotions everyday. It's not considered "manly" to cry or talk about painful things happening or that have happened in their life. That's typically what girls do with other girls or even alone.

"We believe that masculine violence is intentional, deliberate, and purposeful. It comes from an attempt by men and boys to create and sustain a system of masculine power and control that benefits them every minute of the day."
I relate this quote back to Pollack's "Boy Code". He says on page 158 that "boys find the inauthentic voice of bravado and gratuitous violence." I do believe that it has to do with the environment you were raised in the societies general rules of being a man but also that men choose to be aggressive and act out themselves at a certain point. There really is no need for physical violence and it shouldn't be admired the way that it is. 

I stumbled upon this article and thought it was a good on to relate to this topic


  1. When I read that first quote, I had the same reaction. I was so mad at the author of the article, until I realized that wasn't his views. Boys aren't talked about and advocated for because they are not being oppressed. This does not mean they have been forgotten or are invisible. It's quite the opposite, they're privileged, and I think you're exactly right in pointing out that by being a part of the privileged gender they have stricter codes to follow.

    Your reflection on the second quote is interesting. Neither of my parents expressed emotions like sadness around us. I don't think I've ever seen my dad cry. Whenever my mom has it's typically always accompanied by anger, and she hides in her room. We were never taught as kids how to get our emotions out in an appropriate way, and how to talk about what we were feeling in order to be able to move past it. While I certainly feel like boys and men have a much more difficult time expressing emotion due to our society, I think that there is a level of difficulty for everyone now.

    Basically, I agree with everything you said in this post! :)

  2. this was great! along with jen i agree with everything you said... your pulls of quotes and explanations made sense to me and actually helped me (not like this was a hard read or something). this was definitely a different article, and not something i expected coming out of a womens studies class. good job:)

  3. I think that men and boys alike, showing emotion is necessary as it is a part of the human experience. I can say though as a man I have fought back tears and emotions because of the pressure of what my friends will think, so it is understandable but I look back on those times and just think why? If you are in pain, show it! There is nothing wrong with it.